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Shakespeare insult kit - the perfect comeback for any situation!

Posted in Our Community @ Jun 11th 2015 - By Judy Gillespie, Vetanswers
Shakespeare Insult Kit 3

Struggle to think of the right comeback to suit the occasion?

We’ve all experienced those situations when someone has annoyed us to such an extent that they really deserve an awesome insult – even if said insult is muttered under our breath or silently in our head.

The trouble is that it’s rare that we can actually come up with a good enough insult to suit the person or occasion. (Annoyingly though it’s often the case that a fabulous one will pop into your head an hour or two later “I should have said…..”)

Well I have the solution!

The ‘Shakespeare Insult Kit’

“Thou fobbing, guts-griping clotpole!”

It's so simple - just choose one word from each of the three columns below prefaced with "Thou" or "You" if you're after a more modern touch.

These stress relieving insults work equally well in any situation. They can be said out loud and proud, vaguely muttered or silently screamed, but they'll definitely impress others with your linguistic skills whilst also delivering an insult.  Now that’s a win/win situation!

“Thou beslubbering, clay-brained pignut!”

Who knew composing insults could be so amusing and strangely relaxing at the same time?

“Thou tottering, earth-vexing pigeon-egg!”

Source: I’m not really sure as my son brought it home from school but a bit of online research pointed to an English teacher at Center Grove High School in Greenwood Indiana named Jerry Maguire as the author.  If someone knows differently please let me know.

Click here to download a pdf version

I'd suggest you print up a copy and make it available to your team as such a great resource should be shared, don't you agree? Although you'll then probably have to accept that on occasions you may be on the receiving end of the odd insult.....

"You saucy, rump-fed giglet!' 

Enjoy...and "You're Welcome!"

Of course if you have more fabulous words to add to the list please share them below...or if you'd just like to test out some of the insults on me that's fine too!

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