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When I lived in the UK, the TV show Little Britain was one of our favourite distractions. My favourite gag was a series of skits about a customer in one business or another with a ridiculous series of increasingly unmeetable demands.
Each skit would start with: ‘Somewhere in a video rental shop in England, a man wants to rent a movie…
“I’d like to rent a film starring Chevy Chase and Rick Morales as cops who go undercover and pose as rappers in order to foil a drug deal. PG 15.” Shopkeeper: “I don’t know that one. I don’t think that movie’s been made.” Customer: “That’s ok. I’ll wait…”
Or: ‘Somewhere in a shop in England, a man is looking for a Birthday card…
“I’m looking for a birthday card. For a man. Who is 60… 5. He likes the sea (C)… word. (That’s ok, I can just write it in.) Do you have any cards that just say ‘Happy 65th birthday… (shopkeeper optimistically starts reaching for a card) …Michael Fillipedes…?“
They’re funny because it’s preposterous. Nobody really acts like that…. right?
Somewhere in a vet clinic in New Zealand, a man brings a sick cat to the vet….
“I’d like you to tell me what’s wrong with my cat. Without doing any tests. I can’t do that treatment. There’s no way I can keep him inside. Do you have any treatments that don’t contain any chemicals? Yes, I’d like you to do the surgery. No, I can’t pay.”
So why aren’t we laughing when this happens to us?
Why do we tie ourselves in knots trying to meet preposterous client expectations and then feel guilty when we can’t?
Sorry, that movie hasn’t been made. We don’t stock that card.
Hubert Hiemstra is the friendly voice behind The Vet Vault and Vet Vault Clinical Podcasts. With over two decades of veterinary experience across three continents, he's on a mission to help fellow vets find fulfillment in their careers. Through his podcasts and conversations with hundreds of veterinary professionals, Hugh empowers vets worldwide by filling in knowledge gaps and boosting clinical skills. When he's not in the clinic or podcasting, he loves hanging out with his wife and energetic boys, catching some waves, going for a run, or just soaking up nature.
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