When you work for a good company with a great team, your work is interesting, but you feel that you want something more – does that mean it’s time to leave?
This week, a friend emailed this question: “How do I know when it’s time to leave?”
Here’s a summary of their conundrum:
- Great team.
- Good company.
- Stable job.
- Interesting work.
- Agreeable pay.
That’s what we’re all aiming for, right?
BUT, also present are:
The first twinges of stagnation.
A desire for growth.
Curiosity about “what more am I capable of?”
An employer who will support that growth, but with some serious conditions and a fair amount of control. (“I’m happy for you to thrive, as long as you’re thriving in THIS company.”)
Here’s my response. Maybe someone else needs to hear it.
I’m not sure I’m the right person to ask about this because I have very strong views about being locked into anything.
Autonomy is one of my key personal values, so take my opinion for what it is: just an opinion. But you asked, so here it is:
I’d be VERY reluctant to sign away my ability to move if needed as those are the types of situations where it’s very easy for the working relationship to change. It’s easier to abuse or disrespect an employee if you know they can’t go anywhere and it’s very easy to start feeling resentment towards an employer if you feel trapped.
When is it time to move on?
When is it the right time to move on? It’s always a tricky question.
It’s hard to leave a comfortable role, and it’s scary to face uncertainty. There’s a quote that I really like: “We don’t really fear the unknown—we fear the loss of the known.”
But I think it’s worth paying attention to what you are feeling.
What starts as a little niggle of boredom can quickly turn into genuine frustration and unhappiness. If you’re feeling the need to grow and expand your capabilities, then it’s usually a voice worth listening to. (Keep in mind that I’m writing from the privileged perspective of someone with a roof over my head, a bit too much food in my belly, and the ability to find alternative incomes if needed, so it’s easier to take risks. If your situation is different, then your appetite for risk should be different.)
I’ve never regretted any of the ‘next steps’ I’ve taken. Sure, you’ll miss some of the stuff you leave behind, but the associated growth and new opportunities have always made it worth the little bit of mourning that is associated with that ‘loss of the known.’
Something to consider…
Can you have the best of both worlds?
One of my least favourite sayings is “You can’t have your cake and eat it.” (What else are you supposed to do with your cake!?)
Can you stay with the company but in a different capacity that allows you to study and develop new skills, while still having some of the familiarity and stability of your current role?
Don’t be afraid to ask – you’re a talented and committed person, which is not always an easy thing to find. And speaking as a past employer, it’s often better to be flexible to keep a good team member.
It’s also worth considering that an employer who does not want to support you and your growth, even if it means eventually losing you, may not be someone you want to work with for the rest of your life.
If you really can’t have both, then try this
If you can’t have both, then I’d suggest trying this exercise:
Consider each scenario and ask, “What’s the worst possible outcome if I do this? “
- If that worst possible outcome happens, could I cope with it?
- Could I navigate it?
- Is it really that bad?
- Do I have a plan B?
Then do the opposite:
For each option, ask: “What’s the best possible outcome? What could it look like if it works out perfectly?”
The levels of fear, dread, anticipatory boredom and excitement you feel around each scenario should be a pretty good compass. (Note: I believe that boredom and stagnation are much more common reasons for unhappiness and career death than catastrophic failure.)
And a final thought:
Don’t underestimate yourself.
You’re diligent, hardworking, and intelligent—rare qualities. The world will always find a spot for you.
