Creating trust with your clients is important – especially when they’re new
When you meet someone for the first time (face-to-face, one-on-one meeting, when you walk into a room, on-stage, on Skype, etc.) would you like to create instant trust, and respect and generate rapport?
Of course, you would. Because building trust and rapport and respect immediately increases your connectivity and connectedness with that person or with that group. And you know that when you create that connectivity, the ongoing communication and communication outcome is so much better.
What we’re talking about today is the foundation of all great communication and connection – it’s all about ‘Visible Hands’.
Quick question….
When you meet a person for the first time, what is or are the things that you immediately look at?
To answer this question, think back, way, way back to pre-historic days, caveman days. So what does the prehistoric caveman look at when someone is approaching?
It’s the hands, the visible hands……
Even today, we still notice visible hands, or not-visible hands, as the first thing we look at when seeing someone.
Obviously, in caveman days, we wanted to see whether they were carrying; a club or a spear, and whether they were a threat to us or not.
Today we still use Visible Hands as an internal guide as to whether that person’s trustworthy or not so trustworthy.
Interesting Point
There have been lots of studies done using juries, and asking juries why they believe or don’t believe various defendants.
Juries typically tell us that if a defendant’s hands are visible and on the table, then that person is more trustworthy than a defendant who has his or her hands hidden or under the table.
So, when you meet someone for the first time, it’s critically important that your hands are visible.
Your hands will be invisible if:
- they are in your pockets,
- your arms are crossed and your hands are under your arms,
- if you are wearing gloves,
- if you’re carrying a shawl or coat,
- if your hands are hidden by a sheaf of papers or a clipboard, etc.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re cold and you’ve got your hands tucked in your armpits because you’re cold. It doesn’t matter whether you are carrying a handbag or a computer and your hand is under the strap of the handbag or under the computer case or wrapped in your shawl.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re carrying a book and your hands are hidden by the book, or even whether you are holding a clipboard…..
In each situation, your hands are hidden and therefore, you will be regarded by the other person that you’re engaging with as less trustworthy than if you had your hands exposed.
Remember this applies everywhere:
- one-on-one meetings,
- when walking into a group meeting,
- walking onto a platform or on stage,
- even meeting someone on Skype.
Aside; on Skype and on Zoom and similar platforms, you can easily make a small wave or similar hand gesture – this is all that’s needed.
So, that’s the simple message for today:
Whenever you meet someone, especially when you meet them for the first time, but also on an on-going basis, ensure that your hands are exposed, and visible and that the person can see your hands. You will develop a better relationship.
If you want to build better business relationships, then make sure that you practice having ‘visible hands’.
If you have any questions for Diederik regarding the importance of visible hands – or body language in general, ask them in the Comments section below
