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Does the Bull$#%@ Ever Work?

Posted in Client Service @ Oct 16th 2012 - By Judy Gillespie
Crazy guy

(Warning...this blog contains coarse language and is only suitable for a mature audience)

My phone rang this morning at 8.25am (5 minutes before leaving for the school run) and the conversation went something like this...

Me: Good Morning, Judy speaking

BS: <hyper enthusiastic male voice> Judy Gillespie – just the person I wanted to talk to

Me: Riiiiight?

BS: <hyper enthusiastic male voice> So how are you this lovely morning Judy?

Me: Err... good.. and you?

BS:<super-hyper enthusiastic male voice>  I’m AWESOME! 

ME: That’s good....??

BS: <super-hyper enthusiastic male voice>  I hear you’re someone with amazing taste and skill, someone who is a real entrepreneur!!

ME: Err ...ok....

BS:<warp drive hyper enthusiastic male voice> Yes – Sheila Mangrove tells me that you are an amazing entrepreneur who is really going places with your business!!

(Note: at this stage I remembered the name Sheila Mangrove* – she’s a marketing  ‘guru’ who likes to talk tough & swear.  Someone I probably downloaded some ‘free’ information from in the past)

ME: Really?

BS: <hyper enthusiastic male voice> Yes!!  And not only that – she wants to offer you a FREE 30 minute phone consultation on your business marketing. This consultation will be amazing and will help identify all the things you could do to take your amazing business even further !!

JG: Oh really...err....

BS: <hyper enthusiastic male voice>  Yes!!  Can you believe it??!!!  Now what exactly is your business?

JG: Sorry?? Did you just ask me what my business is?

BS: <hyper enthusiastic male voice>  Yes – what’s your business?

JG: Umm ... if Sheila thinks I’m so awesome & I’m such an amazing entrepreneur, then surely she would already know what my business is?

BS: <distinctly less enthusiastic male voice> Sorry?

JG: Well, you’ve just said that Sheila had told you I was an amazingly awesome entrepreneur – so if she knows that then she must know my business.

BS: <silence>

JG: Hello?  Don’t you have a line in your script to respond to that question?

BS: <enthusiasm replaced with a tinge of aggression>  Well if you’re not going to tell me the name of your business then how am I supposed to help you? I’m just going to be pushing shit uphill then aren’t I!

JG: No, I’m just suggesting that if you’re going to ring me and tell me how fantastic I am, then maybe you should have done a little bit of homework. Maybe a Google search perhaps???

BS: <distinctly icy male voice>  Well, if you’re going to be like that! If a friend told you about an awesome house painter you wouldn’t ring him and then expect him to know whether you had a house or a unit, or whatever to paint would you? No!

JG: But I didn’t ring you, you rang me?  Look – if you’re going to take the bullshit approach, you really need to be ready for the possibility that someone’s going to call you on it.  After all – you’ve just been telling me how awesome I am but it’s clear Sheila knows nothing about me.

BS: <Mild aggression increasing> Yes but I don’t think you realise....

JG: Look I have to take my daughter to school and I think you might want to talk to Sheila about her approach – there’s a few holes in it.

BS: <Cold, very cold> I don’t think you realise...

Me: No, look perhaps you need to ring someone else – I’m really not interested.

I can’t say who hung up first but perhaps Mr BS beat me to it.

So does the bullshit marketing really work?  Does anyone get sucked in to believe the hype?

Sheila Mangrove could be an awesome business coach.  Maybe she could help me make Vetanswers a huge success.  But I doubt I’ll ever know as I just can’t stand bullshit. 

I love being told I’m an awesome entrepreneur but only by people that really matter to me – not some stranger reading from a script.

But.... have I mistaken bullshit for passion and enthusiasm?

Was I being short sighted by passing up a free 30 minute consult for my business?  Should I have grabbed the opportunity and gone with it?

I’m not sure, what do you think? 

*Names have been changed to protect the overly enthusiastic

Comments

Gillian Shippen @ Oct 17th 2012 9:06am
there's genuine enthusiasm and then there's............the BS enthusiasm and I find usually my first instinct is the correct instinct!
Judy @ Oct 17th 2012 11:12am
Thanks Gillian - that's my thinking as well. It wasn't until later that I thought - hmmm - did I just miss an opportunity here?
Peter Fielding @ Radiology Supplies @ Oct 17th 2012 12:45pm
Classic Judy!!!! A simple request for 30 mins of your time to get an understanding of your business and your current situation wrt marketing would have been a lot more respectful. Some businesses treat us all as punters on the numbers treadmill making them wealthy at our expense. Sad thing is they do it because it works. Maybe a recording of the half hour free upsell, I mean consultation would be just as enlightening. I bet it follows a standard formula of 20 mins of serious disturbance where you get convinced how bad your current situation is followed by a 10 minute solution and close on an expensive marketing plan. and. .. they still won't know you.
Judy @ Oct 17th 2012 12:50pm
You've made me feel much better Peter! I think it is important to feel comfortable with whoever you do business with - after all, we do business with people don't we! I think I would have always felt it was all BS if I had have taken up the offer - not a good way to start a business relationship! ;)
Gillian Shippen @ Oct 18th 2012 3:40pm
OK, so this scenario isn't exactly the same but I'm trying to get a housing loan - So far have seen 3 (or 4? - there is a reason for this question) different Brokers. 1 (or 2?) with the accountant - the first time I went, all excited yes we can help but you have to do this (didn't instil great confidence in me). Now I say 2? because I went again, not sure if I saw the same person (although the accountant tells me they only have 1 person doing loans in their office) as that person cannot remember me the first time or the original advice given and as such has revised down and I left with little hope! 2) the next guy I got to come to me......from a bank. He was all excited, couldn't understand why I was getting such a hard time and then proceeded to make me do all the work and eventually went a bit cold on me. The 3rd person I have been to had genuine excitement at the challange I had presented him (because I had seen a couple of other people apparently that works against me and my credit score, even though I tick all the other boxes!) - his enthusiasm was remarkable and he will not stop until I get what I want - between him and his partner you could genuinely see a gleam in their eyes when I presented them with a complicated situation! The others, despite their initial enthusiasm, put me in the too hard basket and didn't bother trying - this last company are genuinely enthusiastic and helpful - nothing is too hard!

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