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“Am I being an arsehole for saying that I won’t work the extra Saturdays?”
A younger vet friend was facing a tricky situation at work: her initial terms of employment said one Saturday per month, but people quit or got pregnant or burnt out – you know what it’s like – and now one Saturday has become two, with occasional last-minute panicked requests for an extra hand on additional days. (If you’ve run a practice, you’ll have complete empathy for the people who are panicking and asking!)
It’s a great question: where IS the line between being a committed team player and a doormat? Because if you care about your workplace, your colleagues, and your patients, you’ll likely pick up the slack. But to what extent?
It’s not a black-and-white answer. A good working relationship definitely involves some sacrifice. You try to accommodate each other’s needs.
It’s a bit like a marriage: in broad terms, you like each other. Not always, but your goals and values align; you respect each other and are willing to compromise. So sometimes you do stuff that you don’t like because you believe that it’s worth it in the long run. Because you care. So you do the dishes, change the nappies, and put up with hair in the shower drain. Or, in your work relationship, maybe you work that Saturday.
BUT, it has to be a two-way street. If one person does all the compromising, the relationship will likely end eventually.
So, how do you know when you are setting healthy boundaries or just being selfish?
I don’t have a clear answer, but I think these are some good questions to ask to help you figure it out:
So it’s worth considering who’s really being the #*$hole?
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